My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
