Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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