Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
