it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
