It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
