Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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