I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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