they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
