I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
