People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
a search helicopter?!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
