wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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