It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
