I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
