Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
