The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
