You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I touched a dick in church today
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
