it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
