I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
