I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
