The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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