It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize