she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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