I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
