i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
