I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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