i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
