Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
