if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
