It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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