Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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