I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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