oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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