just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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