remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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