He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
