Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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