Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
