True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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