He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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