Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this boner is exhausting
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
