I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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