i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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