ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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