Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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