apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
