I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There's always time for handjobs
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
