Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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