i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
