Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
