Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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